2023

2023

The constant fear of something bad is gonna happen 

cause happiness has never been a constant in my life

happiness just comes like an uninvited guest 

who leaves without a proper closure

there is me who is actually in between this

whether to be happy or to be sad is always left to me 

but I blame god or maybe people 

I want some happiness to be left as it is

unwavered

the worst thing is some shit happens after every beautiful memory

I hope that doesn’t happen.

life has always made me lost, alone, unloved

that too by people whom I love with all my heart

I have never ever been the first priority 

not to anyone

Never been the main character in my own life 

life fucks you up in totally different ways 

it’s a movie plot 

my 2023 was a whole film 

where a lot of shit happened 

where people did me shit

where people recognised after doing shit 

where I learnt to be alone

to move on from a huge breakup

where I had my first kiss

and where my second kiss was the most meaningful and deserving 

I know I romanticize stuff 

that’s me 

love has taught me a lot this year 

a painful love

a lustful love

and finally a peaceful love 

all 3 happened in the same here 

I had myself controlled at times 

but there were times I totally lost myself 

my kind of love is the old-school romance 

the one we hold hands 

look at each other for hours 

the GVM type of love 

or maybe the maniratnam love

I dont know if I am gonna get those but 

I still hope that happen 

whenever wherever however 

I wanna have some precious people 

I met this year to be with me 

next year as well as in the coming years